Icha Icha Book Club
by Nymbis
Summary: Sakura discovers erotica on Tsunade's desk, and Kakashi discovers someone he can share his hobby with.


She was not going to open it.

The innocent looking book seemed to stare back at her from the corner of her shishou's desk. It was open face-down, as if someone had been reading it and had to leave in a hurry but didn't want to lose their spot. The spine, Sakura noticed with some sort of sick amusement, was heavily creased. The pages might have even been dog-eared in certain spots.

She was _not _going to open it.

The cover was bright orange.

She was not going to open it, because she respected Tsunade-shishou. And when a person respected someone, they didn't rifle through that someone's porn-

_-erotica,_ she corrected herself absently. There was a difference, after all, and another sensei of hers had long ago stressed that Icha Icha was _erotica _and not _porn, _so if she would stop calling him a pervert he would appreciate it, as it really was starting to wear on his self-esteem…

She sighed. She was a mature, responsible medical kunoichi now. And as a mature, responsible kunoichi, she could resist the almost magnetic pull that small little book held for her. Even though it was literally begging her to take a peek, especially since the book had to have belonged to Tsunade.

That was another thing. Tsunade read porn-erotica.

Now, Sakura wasn't naïve. Really, she wasn't. Having been trained under Hatake Kakashi pretty much sealed the deal on that one. She knew that people, even the adults who she never **ever **wanted to know about, had certain needs and that reading porn was a totally healthy thing.

That didn't stop the knee-jerk _ewewewewew_ reaction she had upon discovering that her mentor had that novel on her desk. Really, she would have thought that Tsunade had more taste than that, judging by how she reacted to Jiraiya and his 'research' tendencies. Maybe a romance novel or something, instead. Not a picture book, by any means. No, no. A romance novel held a sort of prestige over a series primarily geared towards men. Something about pirates and forbidden love and torn bodices was more compatible towards a woman Tsunade's age-

She stopped that line of reasoning. Women Tsunade's age didn't shatter boulders with their fists either. And, well, to be honest, the few times she picked up a romance novel the writing had been over the top, flowery, crap. The books she had enjoyed as a twelve year old were starting to gather dust on her bookshelf as she found herself more and more displeased with the damsel in distress archetype.

Sakura took a tentative step towards her mentor's desk, a manilla folder in her hand with her latest mission report. That was the reason why she had come, after all. Just to drop off the report. Not to read the porn.

As if deactivating an exploding tag, she gingerly set the folder down on the opposite side of the desk, the papers seeming to make an echoing sound as they rested on the top. She exhaled, and couldn't help the way her peripheral vision kept taking in the orange cover.

The picture was interesting. A woman was cracking her knuckles while a man made kissy faces at her, the background consisting of a parade or something, with a suspicious looking character in the shadowed area.

If Sakura were into porn, which she wasn't publicly, she may have been compelled to take a look.

Her peripheral vision which was still _entirely _peripheral and not even remotely trained on the orange book, may have taken a glance at the summary on the back.

_Kiyoko, a beautiful, voluptuous, sexy femme fatale, wasn't expecting to fall in love-_

Sakura may have rolled her peripheral eyes at the redundancy.

_-and she certainly wasn't expecting to find herself in the middle of a deadly political assassination. But when a mysterious man known only by his smile that's as dangerous as his katana falls into her life, Kiyoko isn't going to let herself be pushed aside-_

That sounded…kind of cool, actually.

One page couldn't hurt.

---

Kakashi was waiting.

This, in and of itself, was alarming. The fact that he was waiting for Haruno Sakura, punctual to an annoying fault, was a little unnerving.

Kakashi was almost concerned.

His former student and occasional sparring partner was supposed to meet him at the training field this afternoon in order to prepare for her first upcoming A-rank mission, where she would be serving as a specialist medic along an ANBU squad.

And she was late.

Incredibly late.

Kakashi wracked his brain, trying to think of a conversation she had with him that morning where he had only paid half attention and only a fourth remembered. Something about a mission report that was due?

With a sigh, Kakashi decided to maybe check in on his student at the Hokage Tower, and maybe guilt trip her into buying him lunch.

---

When Kakashi entered Tsunade's office, he expected to find Sakura getting reprimanded, maybe even tearful. Or maybe hard at work, pouring over a medical scroll of some sort.

He did not expect to find his female student curled into the chair behind the Hokage's desk, an almost finished orange novel in her hands.

"Well, well," he said, a smile stretching over his face, the approximate one third that was revealed endearingly mocking his only female student, "What have we here?"

Sakura gave a startled yelp at his entrance, the book in her hands flying up into the air as she flailed in Tsunade's chair, flushed cherry red, "It's not my porn!"

Kakashi caught the airborne orange novel easily, "Erotica," he corrected in a flat tone, having been over this with her many, many times.

Sakura just stared at her former sensei, and then at the incriminating orange book pinched between his two fingers, a cold sweat breaking out on her above average forehead.

Kakashi cleared his throat and stared at his student levelly, "You went through the Hokage's things, ignored a spar with your terribly busy former sensei that was designed to prepare you for an A-ranked mission, and read clearly Mature rated material. I think this calls for a special training session."

Sakura merely winced and wished that the chair she was sitting in was sentient enough to swallow her whole.

---

Twenty minutes later found Sakura sitting in a tea shop, nursing some ginseng as she watched her sensei pull out dog-eared, post-it marked, and highlighted copies of Icha Icha Paradise from seemingly nowhere, causing her to yet again entertain the thought that he had a special summoning scroll for them.

How he managed to drink coffee with the mask still on, Sakura was sure she never wanted to know.

"So I think that Icha Icha Paradise: Super Special Well Rounded Edition made excellent use of motifs-"

How Kakashi managed to find motifs in porn, Sakura was sure she never wanted to know.

"And I think that there's a really strong underlying lesson about how a man who's committed only to the job can't really be committed to a person," Kakashi took another sip of his coffee, his hand going over to his stack of orange novels for the "special training session".

Sakura was in a tea shop, a place where there could be people she _knew, _calmly drinking tea and discussing erotica with her former instructor.

Between a generous gulp of ginseng and wondering where her life went so very wrong, Kakashi asked her for her thoughts on what she had read so far.

A brief sigh escaped her lips despite herself, and she looked away from the books for a moment, "I'm going to sound stupid-"

Kakashi remained suspiciously silent.

"-_but_ the story's really engaging, and Jiraiya-san surprisingly writes strong women protagonists-"

"He does have a type," Kakashi agreed, turning the next page of the book that was spread out before him, showing a big busted lady hitting a long-haired man over the head with an empty sake bottle during a bar brawl.

"-and the dialogue is kind of witty, and the plot is paced pretty decently-"

"-but what did you think of the _motifs_?"

Sakura sighed, mentally deciding on a 'can't beat them, join them' philosophy, before she began a discussion on the use of leopard print panties as a symbol for sexual freedom.

---

Tsuande groaned as she entered her office. It had been a horrendously long day of bickering with old fogeys who didn't have their hearing aides turned up enough to notice the difference between 'poison senbon' and 'get off my lawn', and two fingers pinched the bridge of her nose as she made her way to her beloved Hokage desk and plopped herself down in the chair.

It was a terrible day, but she took some sort of relief in knowing that her personal copy of Icha Icha Paradise: Super Special Well Rounded Edition was waiting for her, along with some of the finest sake that Shizune's staunch disapproval had to offer.

With a heavy sigh, Tsunade released the tension from her body and allowed her high-heeled feet to kick up onto the desk, manicured hands reaching for her novel of erotica. She found it, flipped it over, and began to read.

_Kiyoko felt his unending desire-_

Tsunade's eyebrows furrowed, she remembered reading that part. She flipped to the next page.

_And as her trembling thighs spread-_

She frowned, and a large clump of veins had begun to pronounce themselves on her forehead. Someone had Lost Her Place.

Hokage for a reason, Tsunade then noticed a mission report that hadn't been there when she had left.

A mission report with the name Haruno, Sakura printed neatly on the label.

With a low growl, Tsunade set the book down and prepared to yell for Shizune, who would then let Sakura know she was regulated to all D-Rank missions this week.

It was not wise to mess with Tsunade's porn. Especially after she just got back from a meeting on tariffs.


End file.
